Still Mulling

Things haven't gotten much easier lately, I mean, concerning my direction. I tend to think too much and, though some things are worth thinking about, there are points when you have to let go and relax. I'm not so good at that. I grab on to every piece of evidence I can find and sniff out answers to my uncertainties or problems, even if there really are no answers that could offer me a sense of closure, I still keep looking. It's tormenting at times. Even when I know I should stop thinking, I just can't.

I'm also pretty tired all the time. I can't seem to get enough sleep. I'm taking my vitamins, and I'm going to bed a little earlier, but I'm just tired all of the time. I don't think I have mono, and I don't think I'm coming down with anything. Who knows?

As far as my motivation is concerned, it's pretty much nill right now too. I don't really feel like doing much of anything, going anywhere, or saying much. If I were a billionaire, like Peter from Office Space, I would probably just do nothing. It's like I need a hobby, but there's nothing that really interests me. That's probably where my dissatisfaction comes from. Low motivation starts me into questioning myself, doubting myself. But truth be told, I could always question and doubt. Everybody can. But questioning and doubting is an active choice. It's not something forced upon us. I just wish I could realize that.

Oh well