Quaking, Moving, Changing

My soul, my inner being is quaking right now. I can't quite place it yet, but I know the signs of needed change in my life. I'm getting older and wiser and I'm starting to figure out how this world works.

What I want is my own place above all else. Having roommates is great for a time, but there comes a point where we all need to make a place for our selves, and I can feel it pressing down on me. I want my own place to come home to at the end of the day. I want to have to try to be social, not having waiting for me every day. I got spoiled in that regards in college. I lost my creativity because of it. You get "funned out", and there's nothing worse for my creative mind than to lose that creativity. That's part of who I am. I have friends that call me up and ask "what are we doing?". Even Lindsay will ask me what I feel like doing, and I never know. All of the things I used to think were fun, I've done time and time again. Pizza used to be my favorite food, but I eat it almost every day. It loses it's flare after a while. I don't really think I even have a favorite food anymore. Playing video games is great for a time, but it turns into more of an escape than "fun". I've seen so many movies it's scary. All of that and my creativity to write, to sing, to play guitar, to explore, it all just goes out the window.

I need a place where I can go to be alone, but right now I don't think I have the means for it. I'm trying to make that happen though. We'll see what I can get. But I have clear resolve on that. My relationships are lagging because I've got no energy left. I don't even care what people think of me anymore. I know a good few of my friends think I'm a jerk, but oddly enough, I feel nothing.

It's time to let go and grow now. I can't be who I was and I don't know what I will be. I only know what it is that I am... partially. Knowing that, I think I might be able to make some decent decisions about where I can go.