It's another late night again for me. I really blew my precious sleep pattern way out of whack last week when I went on tour, but at the same time, I loved it. I'm getting everything in line for the next tour, which we will be leaving for this Wednesday night. I need to rest up, but at the same time, there's so much that I have to get done. I'm not doing a great job of taking care of myself right now as is. I think I let the pain get to me too much last Saturday. I made poor choices and I received the consequences. I'm tired of letting this get to me though. Most of the day now it doesn't. I've almost completely convinced myself that Lindsay was a dream that only lasted a night. There's no physical evidence anymore that proves otherwise. It doesn't seem like a healthy method of dealing with things. The brave man I have in my mind would accept the fact that it happened, be sad, but then move on. I find myself less and less in tune with that guy though. Right now I just want to keep on forgetting because every memory serves as an endless tunnel of thought filled with nothing but pain. Nobody really even seems to mind/notice/care if I do it anyways, so that's something... I guess that Saturday I acted the way I did because she interrupted the reality I have been creating for myself in which I was never hurt. At that point, I lost control.
But I've been feeling better as of today. I needed to ride my motorcycle and I got to, if only for a little while. It makes me miss warmer weather pretty bad. It doesn't seem like Spring will ever come, but at least it's getting darker later now. I am very happy about that.
I am also happy for Brian and Kristin. They are getting married this September!!! Brian called me today and asked me to be his best man! I have never been offered something like that before, so I hope I can do a good job doing whatever a best man does. Standing there! Got it! I think I can do that pretty well!
Well anyways, I'm killing a lot of time just sitting here typing. I need to get some sleep.
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