All of my problems seem to be stemming from my blatant inability to yield responsibility or control over a situation. I always feel like there's something I should do, or should have done to prevent adverse outcomes to situations I encounter on a daily basis. I don't know why I'm so negative all of the time. I can't be at peace.
It seems to me that this place I am in, whenever I am here, leads deeper and darker or around and around, like a dog chasing its tail. There is an excessive amount of negative energy floating around from day to day, and when you start focusing on it, you only see more and more. It never breaks. That's what leads to depression. It's a place where everything is against you and you are completely void of hope for something better.
When I'm really stressed out, I'm just tired all of the time. I don't want to really do anything or get out. I'm just fine sitting and doing nothing.
But right now I'm going to just sit on my bed for a while and be quiet with my eyes closed. I'll do that for about half and hour and then I'll make dinner. After that I'm going to study for my certification test. I take that tomorrow.
Other word on the street is that I might be going to Memphis next week. I hope not, but if I do, oh well. I'll be there with Jason and he's a pretty good guy. Well, I'm out.
Peace and love.
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