Reliability

I look out and around and I see so many people with greater ambition than myself. I've been working at the Vanderbilt school of business for the past several days, and I see guys my age walking around who already look like they've been pushing paper for seven years. They think nothing but business. I spent some time thinking about what I would have turned out like had I chosen to buckle down even more than I did in school. What if I had chosen to be a balls-to-walls business man? What if all I ever thought about was just one thing?

That got me to thinking about reliability. I think I'm reliable, sometimes. I know people who don't think I'm reliable. I let people down a lot, but I also am prone to biting off more than I can chew. What ends up happening is that I eventually let someone down because I still reserve time for myself. How do you balance that? I have never felt right being able to legitimize spending time to my self. I always feel like I could be doing something more productive.

I don't know. Maybe I could be a little bit more productive. Maybe I could afford to be a little more focused. I'll see what I can do. But for now I'm really just in the mood to relax. I'll see what happens in the next few months.

Peace and love.