Steady Hands

Time to do some writing. I've been slowly but surly coming out of my funk, dealing with my thoughts as best I can. After all, I am my worst enemy. It's all my mentality, and I know just where I am the weakest.

I think trying to establish confidence in myself is the first step in recovery. My grandfather once told me that when you say to yourself "Ah, you idiot!" or "Duh, why didn't you think of that earlier!", it really reaches down into your sub conscience and you start believing that about yourself. I think that's true for me especially. I have convinced myself that I'm not good enough.

That being the case, whenever I find myself in a difficult situation, I feel that it is my responsibility to see it through, but I don't have the confidence in myself to get there. I get depressed about it.

So for the past few days I've been trying to focus on brighter and higher things. I usually start of my day with a Psalm or a Proverb to think about as I drive to work. I just need some discipline and I think I'd be all right. We'll get there though.

Anyways, right now I have to get back to studying for my CTS certification. I have one last chance to pass, and that's tonight. I also am going to Memphis all next week. That's final as of yesterday.

Peace and love.