Developing Developments

So this is the latest news. Last night I was carrying more pain than I could stand. I shut down, couldn't think, pretty much just crawled into a hole and wanted to stay there alone for a while. I don't want to mistreat my friends, but it's hard when pain seems so big. It makes you only want to think of yourself.

But today things were better. I was working with the new guy, Jeff, and we got a lot done. I was sort of filling in as the lead tech because the actual lead tech was called away. Sometimes I feel like a good leader. Sometimes I don't. I felt good today though. We just did our thing and I simply guided it. Jeff is a good guy too. Very interesting.

I got a call last night from Paul though, one that I didn't take. But he was calling to inform me that Andrew Peterson is going on tour soon and he wanted me to meet him to see if he would like to use me on the road. So we had lunch today and everything seemed to click. I'll be his front of house engineer as well as his road manager. All that's left to deal with is getting the time off of work. We're slammed right now and it's going to hurt the company if I take any time off, but I need to do this. I haven't decided what I would do if they denied me the opportunity to go yet. It comes down to my dream, if you could call it that. Do I want this bad enough to jump off a cliff for it? I can't exactly afford to fall through the cracks though. We'll see. I'll be praying about it and remaining hopeful, but after last time, I am nervous for sure.

One thing is for certain. I need to get out of this city for just a little while. I am dwelling too much on my pain, and this city is a constant reminder. It could be worse though, and by listening to my older music I am reminded that it has been much worse than this before.

Peace and love.