New Computer New Things

I just got a mac book today. I don't know if I have mentioned why yet, but a lot has happened since I last wrote, even though it wasn't that long ago.

I got a call last Friday while I was working, a rather unexpected surprise. It was the Road Manager for the Newsboys, offering me the Stage Manager position for the spring tour. The only catch was that they were leaving next Thursday (the day after tomorrow). So I made a few phone calls and started planning. How was I going to pick up everything and start a new life in a week? (Sound familiar?)

I put in my two weeks notice at work and sold my computer to my parents so I could afford a more mobile one (this one). I made all sorts of preparations and told all sorts of people who were all very excited for me. I was excited for me. I felt like I was entrusted with something beyond what anyone would ever give me credit for being able to accomplish on my own. I felt special, recognized, important, and confident.

We were to have a meeting Monday night to go over all of the details. Monday came and I got nervous, so I called them to see what was up. That's when they pulled the rug out from under me. I was let down pretty hard. I felt the opposite of all of those things I felt before.

But I have good friends who are supportive. Paul spent a good amount of time with me encouraging me and helping me get through my frustration. It ended up being a good night. I felt like I went to bed with closure.

I have decided to still leave my current company to pursue touring. I want to because I felt the passion in me come alive. Paul was right last night when he said that this city will try to kill your joy and your excitement because you're dealing in a business that everyone on the outside thinks is amazing, and for that reason alone, you can't show any excitement or you're just as star-struck as the rest of them. I think that's true, and I think I convinced myself, or allowed myself to be convinced that what I was doing wasn't amazing. This whole ordeal woke me up from that, and I want to start over and try again while I'm still young enough to make a few mistakes. So that's what I'll do. I'll keep on trying.

Peace and love.