I wrote earlier today, and I'm writing again. I feel brimming with a new understanding, like I just woke up and everything makes amazing sense. I am discouraged at how easily I hurt the ones closest to me. I get even more discouraged at how I have used this journal to do it. I say things here because I don't feel like it has any consequence. I forget sometimes that it's public and I forget sometimes that just because I think it, doesn't mean that it's legitamate. Sometimes it takes someone to be verbally upset with me in order for me to realize that I'm wrong, but I don't get that too often. At the very foundation of all of this, I should really be careful of the thoughts in my heart that I listen to, because a lot of the time they're just not true.
But a new perspective has hit me this week like a cement truck. It's a hopeful perspective that might just be the hand of God pulling me out of this hole I have dug for myself.
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