Keep Your Faceshiled Down

Dear Nathan,

This is your right eyeball. I was writing to you in regards to tonights motorcycle ride. I enjoy it just as much as you do, I mean it really is great. But... this is awkward... how do I say this without upsetting you... You know the face shield on your helmet? Well, you know how sometimes you like to open it while you ride because you like the feel of the wind on your face? That's cool and all, but tonight I got nailed by a bug, and it got lodged under the eyelid. I'm your right eye, man. You gotta treat me with more respect than that. You know that opening your face shield during bug season is a dumb idea. Think about how hard those bugs hit your windshield when you are driving your car. Yeah, that was your right eye this time. Be smart.

Love,

Your Right Eyeball


Pretty much true. Taking a bug to the bare eyeball really hurts.

Anyways

Today was nice and all. Work went well and I got a lot accomplished on the job I was working, not to mention I got off at a normal time. That's amazing in itself. But while I was working I heard a few songs on my new ipod that brought my current state back into the picture. I felt hurt again and it took the breath out of me, but I told you it would happen this way. It happens in harmonics that get farther and farther apart from the actual explosion. I miss being missed mostly.

Second. There's still some completely insane drama surrounding my life that is kinda getting... well... dumb. Frankly, I expect it and I'm completely uninterested and unaltered, mostly because I don't think it has anything to do with me. I've changed. Of course I have. That doesn't mean anyone has to like it, but that's the way things are. Sometimes there are people in your life though that are always surrounded by a form of drama. Sometimes that's me, but speaking from experience, it's because of an addiction. At the very heart of it, most of the time it has nothing to do with the people around you. It's you yourself.

But I'm not worried. Very soon I will be out of the picture and that torch will pass to someone else. It always has and it always will. Can't think of a time where there wasn't someone on the enemy list.

I know that sounds cold. That's my problem if anything. I am very cold in these circumstances. It is rare that someone has a problem with me that I feel completely innocent from, but when I do, I am very cold and uninterested. That is a problem that I need to deal with in myself. I am aware of it, and it will be actively worked on. But this is where I am right now. Hah, I also find myself to be passive-aggressive enough to post a journal about it online. Blogfu, as I have heard it called, is meant to sneak attack the person it is directed at without alerting other readers. Stupid stuff, but I just did it. I guess I have even more changing to do.

Peace and love.